MEN ARE NOT FROM MARS

by Suzanne Lieurance


Men are from Mars and women are from Venus. Or so they say. But sometimes, I think my husband is from Uranus. Not that he's dumb or anything. Far from it. But his behavior certainly baffles me. It's just so far out there! Take last night. I was baking cookies when I suddenly noticed the time.

"Yikes! Can you take these cookies out of the oven for me when they're done?” I asked him. “I was supposed to be at an online workshop 10 minutes ago!"

"Sure...no problem," he said.

And I went dashing off to the computer to log on.

I left the cooling racks out for the cookies, along with a plastic storage bag to put the cookies in once they had cooled. It wouldn't take a brain surgeon or a rocket scientist to finish with this job. I was confident he could handle it.

Now here's where Uranus comes in. When my workshop was over I went back downstairs to see if my husband had remembered the cookies. He remembered them all right. He even baked the rest of the batter that was left in a bowl in the refrigerator. But the cooling racks and the plastic storage bag were setting on the counter, while the cookies were all stacked on top of each other on two plates, covered with aluminum foil.

Now my husband is the type of guy who plays chess to relax. He worked Rubic's Cube in about 10 minutes when it first came out years ago, and his favorite library book at the moment is called Conquering Calculus. So wouldn't you think he could figure out that hot, gooey cookies, oozing with melting chocolate chips, would stick together if they were piled on a plate, straight from the oven? Apparently not. Instead of several dozen chocolate chip cookies, we now have two (count 'em, two) chocolate chip cookie MOUNTAINS, firmly cemented to two of our good dinner plates.

When I saw the cookie mountains last night I didn't say anything.

My husband eyed me nervously. "What'd I do wrong now?" he asked.

"Did I say you did something wrong?" I answered.

"You didn't have to," he said. "You've got that look."

And he was right. I had the look. The one that says, "Women may be from Venus, but I swear, men are from Uranus!"